I am a small blue ball of pain.
Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Can’t write.
Life on hold.
Wondering what went wrong. Why I am here again.
A pause by the bluebell woods on the way back from hospital. A biopsy may provide answers to the mystery of me and my strange body, who knows?
The flowers smell sweet. I breathe them in.
An easing comes. A moving on from the small blue ball. A sort of pinkening. Lilac flowers are taken in from the garden and I sit in a delicately scented cloud of beauty.
Then, a few steps, and I am outside.
It is glorious. Painful still, but better. I can envision being well again.
The sunshine. The breeze. I love it all.
Thoughts of writing come. I left my poor characters in the middle of the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. War. A situation far worse than my own. I must release them from it soon.
Before all this, before I became ill, I got here – to the golden orb – with my ‘fun project‘:
The main character in the book is neuro-diverse.
As am I.
Illness makes me open, bared and true. Pain peels back layers of politeness and hesitancy and doubt. I just say things. I just am.
I still hope for a summer release, a later one obviously, maybe early autumn. My body will have its say in the matter. But it will come 🙂
Set in an Aberdeenshire castle, THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR features the 1597 Aberdeen witchcraft panic, a stone circle, and a love story.
FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE was inspired by the 18th century kidnapped children of Aberdeen and is set in both Scotland and Colonial Pennsylvania.
“Filled with excitement and suspense…” Historical Novel Society