I am a small blue ball of pain.
Curled up.
Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Can’t write.
Life on hold.
Wondering what went wrong. Why I am here again.
A pause by the bluebell woods on the way back from hospital. A biopsy may provide answers to the mystery of me and my strange body, who knows?
The flowers smell sweet. I breathe them in.
An easing comes. A moving on from the small blue ball. A sort of pinkening. Lilac flowers are taken in from the garden and I sit in a delicately scented cloud of beauty.
Then, a few steps, and I am outside.
It is glorious. Painful still, but better. I can envision being well again.
The sunshine. The breeze. I love it all.
Thoughts of writing come. I left my poor characters in the middle of the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. War. A situation far worse than my own. I must release them from it soon.
Before all this, before I became ill, I got here – to the golden orb – with my ‘fun project‘:
The main character in the book is neuro-diverse.
As am I.
Illness makes me open, bared and true. Pain peels back layers of politeness and hesitancy and doubt. I just say things. I just am.
I still hope for a summer release, a later one obviously, maybe early autumn. My body will have its say in the matter. But it will come 🙂
My books:
Set in an Aberdeenshire castle, THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR features the 1597 Aberdeen witchcraft panic, a stone circle, and a love story.
FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE was inspired by the 18th century kidnapped children of Aberdeen and is set in both Scotland and Colonial Pennsylvania.
Paperbacks and kindle: Amazon UK or Amazon Worldwide
“Filled with excitement and suspense…” Historical Novel Society
