chronic illness Archives - Ailish Sinclair

January 7, 2025January 22, 2025

A Snaggled, Barbarous Place

This snaggled wee post was originally published in January 2023. The book I mention working on – CABRIOLE – is out now along with the rest of the series. I’m currently working away on the connected series of coming-of-age stories with a similar release strategy in mind, for similar reasons…

Snaggled

A snaggled and barbarous place. That’s where I am. No, I’m not ill again. In fact, I’m doing quite well. Well enough to sit at my desk and write every day, anyway. I’m deep in relationship conflict and development in CABRIOLE, the second book in my dark and romantic ballet series, A Dancer’s Journey. And I’m LOVING it.

Release Strategy

These books will be out later this year (2023). I don’t want to rush them. And I also don’t want to put them, even the first one, TENDU, which is actually ready now, up for pre-order before they’re all finished. Because, what if I did become ill? And then there was a terribly long gap between books? Or worse than ill, and then there was no end to the series at all? No, no, no.

They’re going to be released a month apart, so there will be no long waits for readers. No cliffhanger endings either. Each book completes its story. But then there’s more. So much more.

Update: the whole series is out now!

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Series on Goodreads

Page with blurbs and quotes

Dance and Despair: Writing What You Know on Women Writers, Women[‘s] Books.

Losing the Plot

My poor characters. They’re still recovering from a devastating event that happened in the first book, and now they’re struggling with yet more difficult and complicated things. It’s no wonder they like it when I have a day out. This time their problems are of their own making, though, as stated in the quote above. This was not the plot that I originally envisaged for them. They got away from me. But they’ll sort it all out, and they’ll think everything’s fine. And then a mysterious child will walk up some steps into book three, and turmoil will begin again 🙂

Snowdrops

And look what’s happened in the garden. The appearance of the snowdrops always feel so sudden. And so hopeful. Not snaggled in any way. Spring approaches.

Historical Fiction

SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD opens on a snowy winter solstice in 1st century Scotland. The main character is neurodivergent, and has been non-verbal until that first scene of the book.
If you like castles, Scotland, history, witches, stone circles and Christmas done medieval-style, you might like THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR. There’s also a love story.
FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE was inspired by the kidnapped children of 18th century Aberdeen, and is set in both Scotland and Colonial Pennsylvania.

They’re all available in paperback, kindle and on kindle unlimited.

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

Signed copies from me

Go here to sign up for occasional emails that always include exclusive photos and news of my writing and life. They’re a bit more intimate than the blog. If you would like to hear about new books and special offers, you can follow my Amazon author page.

About Page

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September 12, 2024September 12, 2024

Colours of Autumn

The colours of autumn are all around now. Wind and rain too. And, sometimes, glorious golden sunshine, bright and hot and surprising.

Colours of autumn: heather by the witch stone

The heather is blooming by the Witch Stone.

Shadows deepen as the season progresses, and it does that quickly here in Scotland.

I have flu. I think my immune system is flexing its muscles after coming off the latest immune-suppressing medication. But I’ll be careful. Not like this previous time when I said I was recovering from flu and ended up in hospital with a collapsed lung…

I’m not nearly that ill, so I can write (Alexander is getting there now) and I can sit in the sun. So things are quite good really 🙂

A Dancer’s Journey Series

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her rich, handsome teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his new school in Scotland…

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Review of the third title in the series on twitter/X this morning: Fouetté is sooooooooo goooooood! One of my top ten favorite books of all time!

About Page

See the About Page here

Go here to sign up for my occasional emails that always include some exclusive photos and news of my writing and life. If you would like to hear about new books and offers, you can follow my Amazon author page.

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August 13, 2024August 22, 2024

Roseisle Beach and Pine Forest

Roseisle is a beautiful place. The beach is golden and stretches for miles between Findhorn and Burghead, and every time I’ve been there, the sky has been bright blue.

It was the perfect place for me to visit recently. I had to come off my latest medication due to side effects, and I was frightened that I was experiencing the first signs of becoming unwell. This stage of chronic illness is always a balancing act between resting and getting things done while I can. So, I gallivanted gently, and so far, I am still well 🙂

Roseisle Beach

There are pillboxes and concrete blocks all along the beach, defences left in place from the Second World War. People use them as shelters and picnic tables today.

Roseisle Forest

The forest, planted in the 1930s, is rather magnificent too.

In the open area, there are picnic tables, and toilets, and even a food truck; the skin-on fries were very good.

Forestry and Land Scotland site

Info on foodtrucks in the area

I did gallivant on a little further up the coast:

Burghead Pictish Fort

Burghead Well

A Dancer’s Journey – a completed series

He’s a damaged diva, used to getting his own way. She’s an autistic ballet girl who speaks her truth without tact. What could possibly go wrong?

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her rich, handsome teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his new school in Scotland…

My About Page

See the About Page here

Writer’s Tip Jar

August 12, 2024November 1, 2024

On Monsters: being one, writing one…

witch, not quite a monster — Arriving at a Halloween party in the past…

This monster post was originally posted in 2020.

Being a Monster

I don’t need a Halloween costume this year. I already look like a monster. The medication I’m on to stop my body killing me (condition lamented here) has made my face swell up. Like a moon. It is a well documented side effect actually referred to as ‘moonface’. The same drug is also causing insomnia so I have massive eye bags that extend to what feels like halfway down my face. There’s quite a lot of bandage action across my body too, which adds an air of mummification fun to the whole ensemble.

I’m also pale. Pale like a ghost.

A Historical Monster

However, being a monster on the outside, in appearance, is nothing to being truly monstrous. While researching witch-hunting in preparation for writing THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, I wanted to find a real monster, a person so enthused for the brutal activity that they could become a focal point for that dark energy in the story. History did not give him up easily. There was no obvious individual in the court documents or confessions. But I hunted him down and finally cornered the rogue in the financial accounts of Aberdeen.

In September 1597 William Dunn, Dean of Guild, was awarded, £47 3s 4d (the equivalent of £6000 in today’s money) for taking ‘extraordinary pains in the burning of a great number of witches’. It was unusual for someone to be given a large lump sum like this. With the exception of some witch prickers and those who sought to escheat their rich relatives, money was not commonly a motivating factor in the witch trials. William Dunn’s job was being in charge of the public money of the town, so he basically gave the cash to himself. I found you Sir, and I made you smell of rotten fish! If you read the historical notes section of the book, you’ll see that I’ve also cast him as the devil.

So now I’m editing FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE and, 150 years later, there is brief mention of the Dean of Guild again. It does seem to be a role associated with making money from the suffering of others, at least, historically, in Aberdeen.

Mermaid Review

There’s a review I forgot to mention earlier, being rather distracted by the task of becoming a monster. It’s from Undiscovered Scotland: “The Mermaid and the Bear is a delight from end to end. There is a superb level of description in the book, that transports the reader back to the sights, sounds and smells of 16th Century life in a Scottish castle.” See the whole review here.

A spooky wee quote for this spooky old season:

dungeon quote from THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR

Chosen Sisters, Romans and Romance

Ethereal and spellbinding... says the Historical Novel Society of SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

Set in 1st century Scotland, my latest book, SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD, includes the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. The book features a neurodivergent main character and some rather complicated romance.

“Ethereal and spellbinding….” Historical Novel Society

See the press release here

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

Review from Terry Tyler: “It’s a fabulous story, a real page-turner and so well written. It made me think about the passage and circle of time, of the constancy of the land on which we live and the transient nature of human life. Loved it.“

Read the article Roman Aberdeenshire features in author’s new book from Grampian Online.

See my About Page

Go here to sign up for occasional emails that always include exclusive photos and news of my writing and life. They’re a more intimate space than the blog.

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July 21, 2024November 8, 2024

Looking for Reindeer in the Cairngorms

Cairngorm Skies

There were dramatic skies the last time I went to look for reindeer in the Cairngorms. They were beautiful though. These were skies to stand and stare at.

And mountains to walk around in.

The Funicular Railway

The funicular railway was out of service, due to cracks having been discovered in the cement so, with my autoimmune conditions flaring, I didn’t venture as high into the landscape as I would have liked.

Lentil Soup

It was more of a restful day than an energetic one. A ‘lentil soup in the cavernous restaurant at the base station’ type of day (you will get lentil soup everywhere you go in Scotland).

Those Reindeer in the Cairngorms

The free-ranging reindeer herd remained elusive on this trip, but here’s an older photo of them. There are much better pictures on their own website!

Chosen Sisters, Romans and Romance

Set in 1st century Scotland, SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD includes the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. The book features a neurodivergent main character and some rather complicated romance.

“Ethereal and spellbinding….” Historical Novel Society

See the press release here

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

Read the article Roman Aberdeenshire features in author’s new book from Grampian Online.

See my About Page

Go here to sign up for occasional emails that always include exclusive photos and news of my writing and life. They’re a more intimate space than the blog.

Writer’s Tip Jar

June 5, 2024June 5, 2024

Down by the field…

pink flowers by the field — Cranesbill growing by the field

Writing is flowing and fierce. Walks are gentle. By the field. In the woods. I haven’t ventured far from home yet.

Trees are gnarly, and blog posts are short 🙂

The Manteith Collection

The Manteith Collection comprises THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR and FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE. The books do not have to be read in order.

Book 1 (mermaid, 16th century) is set mainly in a castle belonging to the Manteith family and involves witchcraft accusations and romance.

In Fireflies (18th century) Elizabeth Manteith is kidnapped and transported to the American colonies as an indentured servant.

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

About Page

Bio, socials, articles and interviews.

Sign up to the mailing list for news about my life and writing, and some exclusive photos. It’s a more intimate space than the blog. If you would like to hear about new books and offers, you can follow my Amazon author page.

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May 28, 2024May 29, 2024

Small Flowers and Writing Affirmations

Stripy Petunias — Daring little petunias – no writing affirmations needed for them!

I am writing again. Finally.

I didn’t need any encouragement – I’ve been champing at the bit waiting to be well enough – but I did feel a little nervous. What if my brain was rusty? What if this resulted in me writing bilge? Utter bilge. Bilge that my rusty brain thought was good?

So when YouTube suggested these writing affirmations to me, I listened. They were rather nice – empowering, even – so I’m sharing them.

Writing Affirmations

The affirmations start at 2.37 minutes in, if, like me, you want to skip the meditation/relaxation part. I listened while doing my morning mix of yoga and Pilates.

Small Flowers

a strawberry flower - writing affirmations — Red strawberry flower

purple flower - writing affirmations — A purple flower – I think it’s an Aster

A Writing-Related TikTok

@a.dancers.journey
#CapCut #meme #writersoftiktok #authortok Oh, that balance of light and dark…
♬ original sound – A Dancer’s Journey

A Dancer’s Journey Series – complete, shocking, unique

A Dancer's Journey series by Ailish Sinclair

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

My dance background and love of history and spicy stories are what inspired this wild mix of unconventional romance and ballet set between a Scottish castle and London. There are no cliffhanger endings here; each book completes a story, but then there is more. So much more…

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

About Page

Bio, socials, articles and interviews.

Writer’s Tip Jar

May 6, 2024May 6, 2024

Swooning Among the Flowers

swooning pot — Swooning pot on the patio

From Vocabulary.com: To swoon is to faint, due to lack of blood to the brain. Illness, fear, stress, and even happiness can cause people to swoon.

Any bit of exertion carries such a risk for me just now, or, at least, I need to lie down after it.

swooning under the cherry blossom — Cherry blossom

But I have to walk – slowly – among the flowers. They’re just so beautiful.

Exhaustion levels are deep this time, this flare, this recovery. So are thoughts. Realisations. Illness can bring great clarity. And that’s good. It will lead to better things, better times. I think. I hope.

A minuscule amount of gardening has been achieved; no swooning involved!

A Dancer’s Journey Series

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

My dance background and love of history and spicy stories are what inspired this wild mix of contemporary romance and ballet set in a castle. Readers of my historical fiction will recognise that castle and the stone circle in these books.

There are no cliffhanger endings in this series; each book completes a story, but then there is more. So much swoony more. Read all the blurbs here

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Book covers of A Dancer's Journey series by Ailish Sinclair: celebratory dance. Shoes ready for pointe work.

Sisters at the Edge of the World

When Morragh speaks to another person for the very first time, she has no idea that he is an invader in her land…

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

About Page

Bio, socials, articles and interviews.

Sign up to the mailing list for news about my life and writing, and some exclusive photos. If you would like to hear about new books and offers, you can follow my Amazon author page.

Writer’s Tip Jar

April 30, 2024December 22, 2024

Pointe Work and a Daring Leotard

Reflections

Looking back on this post from a year ago. Reflecting on the past twelve months. Determining to stay well now. To not burn myself out again. In a year’s time I want to be writing about dancing around doing pointe work and getting books out and visiting castles and other lovely places. Maybe I’ll even wear a red leotard. Probably not to visit a castle. But, you never know… 😀

Back to the original post:

Would a strappy red leotard distract the eye from my puffer-fish face or accentuate it? The many thin straps of the garment crisscrossed my back in a pleasing design. It was different. It was daring. I wore it.

The above quote is from TENDU, the first book of A Dancer’s Journey, a romantic-suspense series. The main character, Amalphia, has just been through some relationship turmoil, again, and is returning to class after injury caused by an inappropriate level of pointe work. The red leotard gets her into a surprising amount of trouble.

Her injury came from being asked to perform every exercise in class en pointe. This is something that I took from my own life.

Memories of Pointe Work

One week at college, our usual morning-class teacher – the late great Imogen Claire – was absent and a substitute put in place. This new teacher decided I needed to be stretched and pushed and had me do everything en pointe. Just me. Nobody else. This singling-out drew a few nasty looks from the other dancers. But really, there was nothing to be jealous about.

Because it really was everything. Every bend. Every jump. I love jumping en pointe. I still do it sometimes. But as a training method in morning class, this excessive pointe work made no sense. It removed the benefit of many of the exercises, and I limped off to the other lessons of the day improperly warmed-up.

After two days of this, my feet were sore. After a week, they were a mess. But then Imogen returned with her no-nonsense approach to teaching and ballet, and I healed.

Imogen Claire and Christopher Biggins in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. — Imogen looks through her glasses in disapproval (Rocky Horror Picture Show 1975). Christopher Biggins, to the left there, once said very insightful things to me while judging my annual assessment at college.

There was no need for extra pointe work as we were blessed with a specialist teacher for that. At first I was surprised to learn that the class was taught by a man, but Gary Harris was a true expert on the subject, performing all the steps en pointe himself in his soft trainers at the front of the studio.

So, dance-school memories indulged, it’s time to head back into the next manuscripts. There’s a connected series coming…

A Dancer’s Journey Series

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

There are no cliffhanger endings in this series; each book completes a story, but then there is more. So much more. Read all the blurbs here

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Sisters at the Edge of the World

When Morragh speaks to another person for the very first time, she has no idea that he is an invader in her land…

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

My About Page

Read my bio and see all the social links and articles here.

Writer’s Tip Jar

April 19, 2024April 19, 2024

The Midnight Marauder

Midnight marauder - badger! — The Midnight Marauder

Every night, without fail, a badger visits the garden to eat scraps and leftovers that we leave out for him.

He’s been coming for years. Though, realistically, of course, it’s not only one badger. But we always speak about him or her as if it is.

Sometimes two come together. After eating, they run about in a frenzy before disappearing into the woods.

The lighter nights made these photos of the earlier-than-usual visit possible.

I swayed there at the back door in my floaty, shaky, just-home-from-hospital state and basically revelled in the badger’s joy and exuberance.

Feels like my song just now…

Health Update

I injected myself with my new medication yesterday. Another intervention to stop my body attacking itself. We’ll see if this one works. I have hope 🙂

My Books – a Mix of Light and Dark

Read the contemporary series that’s shocking people! It’s available in paperback, kindle and on kindle unlimited.

Amazon

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

Review snippets:

Deanne Patterson on Tendu: It broke my heart and then healed it and made it sing. Full review here.

Molly H on Cabriole: It’s truly one of the best books I’ve ever read and made me feel SO MANY FEELINGS. Full review here – some spoilers.

Tom Williams on Fouetté: I galloped through it, loving every moment. Full review here – some spoilers, especially if you haven’t read Cabriole.

Historical Titles

My historical novels combine little-known dark events with love stories and a hint of magic.

The historical novels of Ailish Sinclair

SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD: ancient battle, neurodiversity and forbidden romance.
THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR: witchcraft, a stone circle, a castle and six chapters of medieval Christmas.
FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE: kidnapping, friendship and chocolate.

Amazon