Writing a Monster; Being a Monster

witch, not quite a monster: writing a monster
Arriving at a Halloween party in the past…

This ‘writing a monster’ post was originally posted in 2020. I’m doing much better now, though still writing and researching those historical monsters!

Being a Monster

I don’t need a Halloween costume this year (2020). I already look like a monster. The medication I’m on to stop my body killing me (condition lamented here) has made my face swell up. Like a moon. It is a well documented side effect actually referred to as ‘moonface’. The same drug is also causing insomnia, so I have massive eye bags that extend to what feels like halfway down my face. There’s quite a lot of bandage action across my body too, which adds an air of mummification fun to the whole ensemble.

I’m also pale. Pale like a ghost.

Ghost, writing a monster...

Writing a Monster

However, being a monster on the outside, in appearance, is nothing to being truly monstrous. While researching witch-hunting in preparation for writing THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, I wanted to find a real monster, a person so enthused for the brutal activity that they could become a focal point for that dark energy in the story. History did not give him up easily. There was no obvious individual in the court documents or confessions. But I hunted him down and finally cornered the rogue in the financial accounts of Aberdeen.

In September 1597 William Dunn, Dean of Guild, was awarded, £47 3s 4d (the equivalent of £6000 in today’s money) for taking ‘extraordinary pains in the burning of a great number of witches’. It was unusual for someone to be given a large lump sum like this. With the exception of some witch prickers and those who sought to escheat their rich relatives, money was not commonly a motivating factor in the witch trials. William Dunn’s job was being in charge of the public money of the town, so he basically gave the cash to himself. I found you, Sir, and I made you smell of rotten fish! If you read the historical notes section of the book, you’ll see that I’ve also cast him as a metaphorical, though very real, devil.

mummification fun: writing a monster
Bandage action!

So now I’m editing FIREFLIES AND CHOCOLATE and, 150 years later, there is brief mention of the Dean of Guild again. It does seem to be a role associated with making money from the suffering of others, at least, historically, in Aberdeen. And, again, I am writing a monster.

Mermaid Review

The Mermaid and the Bear cover

There’s a review I forgot to mention earlier, being rather distracted by the task of becoming a monster. It’s from Undiscovered Scotland: “The Mermaid and the Bear is a delight from end to end. There is a superb level of description in the book, that transports the reader back to the sights, sounds and smells of 16th Century life in a Scottish castle.” See the whole review here.

A spooky wee quote for this spooky old season:

dungeon quote from THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR - writing a monster

Chosen Sisters, Romans and Romance

Ethereal and spellbinding... says the Historical Novel Society of SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

Set in 1st century Scotland, my latest book, SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD, includes the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. The book features a neurodivergent main character and some rather complicated romance.

“Ethereal and spellbinding….” Historical Novel Society

See the press release here

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

Review from Terry Tyler: “It’s a fabulous story, a real page-turner and so well written. It made me think about the passage and circle of time, of the constancy of the land on which we live and the transient nature of human life. Loved it.

Read the article Roman Aberdeenshire features in author’s new book from Grampian Online.

ballet feet of Ailish Sinclair

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The Performance: sometimes going home for Christmas is just one huge performance…

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The Glass Floor of Provost Skene’s House

Provost Skene's House in Aberdeen

Provost Skene’s House nestles between the new buildings and giant plant pots of Aberdeen. This post details a visit from 2023.

It’s been a long time since I’ve visited the 16th century townhouse. In fact, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been in the city centre. In recent years trips to Aberdeen have been illness or hospital related.

There have been a few changes.

Marischal College

The fountains in front of Marischal College are new:

Fountains in front of Marischal College, Aberdeen

My father worked in the building when I was a child, and there were regular family trips to the Anthropological Museum there. This was later called the Marischal Museum, and it’s no longer open to the public. You can, however, browse online exhibitions.

Provost Skene’s House

Provost Skene’s House door

History

Dating from 1545, the house has been lived in by a variety of people over the centuries. Provost Skene owned it in the 17th century, and Hanoverian troops used it during the Jacobite rebellion of 1745. The Duke of Cumberland stayed there on his way to Culloden. It’s been a museum since 1953. See a more thorough history of the house here.

Museum

The museum used to be set up with rooms furnished in different eras: Edwardian bedrooms and Victorian sitting rooms, that sort of thing. It now houses an exhibition of noteworthy people from Aberdeen, and many of the displays are digitised. I rather miss the harpsichords and harps of the previous arrangement.

The Glass Floor

The glass floor in the cellar is still there, and I’m glad about that. The room was previously a coffee shop, and walking over the floor was a highlight for me as a child. I may not have been frightened when locked in a witch’s hoosie, but this floor scared me in an exhilarating sort of way.

I put the scary floor into the castle of my books. The quote below is from Fouetté, the third and final title of A Dancer’s Journey, and it describes how the glass used to look in Provost Skene’s House.

Eerie green light still shone up from below the glass, showcasing the museum pieces in the floor: barrels, bottles, various metal implements, a cauldron. The glass had been replaced, of course, and part of it given proper hinges, not like back then when…

I had to cut the quote short there, because: spoilers. The floor is no longer lit up.

Glass floor in Provost Skene's House

The Painted Gallery

The highlight of the house for me now is the Painted Gallery. It has not changed, apart from the removal of the Mouseman benches.

Like the Wine Tower in Fraserburgh, this is a place that may have been used as a post-Reformation Catholic chapel.

Provost Skene's House Chapel

The ceiling depicts the life of Christ. Below is the Entombment, with a kilted gentleman standing to the right.

The Entombment of Christ, Provost Skene's House

Something else that has not changed is the smell of Provost Skene’s House. It’s quite strong and distinctive. I think it might be caused by the use of some sort of speciality wood preserver or furniture polish.

door in Provost Skene's House

I walk across the flagstone floor of Provost Skene’s.

flagstone floor

And then stroll between the old and the new.

old and new

I prefer the old.

Old and new: Provost Skene's House

The Angry Man

Let’s finish with an angry man. He was originally situated on the wall of a 19th century bakery in the city. It was shut down due to its close proximity to a sewer; the baker blamed his neighbours for the closure, and pointed his angry face at them. He now glares at everyone as they walk past Provost Skene’s House.

SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD

review of Sisters

Set in 1st century Scotland, SISTERS AT THE EDGE OF THE WORLD includes the battle of Mons Graupius between the Romans and the Caledonian tribes. The book features a neurodivergent main character and some rather complicated romance…

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

“Ethereal and spellbinding…” Historical Novel Society

Read the article Roman Aberdeenshire features in author’s new book from Grampian Online.

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feet

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The Publishing Journey of a Ballet Novel

An aesthetic for TENDU, a ballet novel by Ailish Sinclair

Below is a post that was originally written in February 2022 when I started working on my ballet novel TENDU again. It seems fitting to pull this to the front of the blog now as that novel is finally out!

See a recent review here: “Very atmospheric, I could feel what the characters were feeling, feel their pain, it broke my heart and then healed it and made it sing.”

And the Wee Writing Lassie’s 5th pretentious question for me can be seen here: “They deviated far away from my planned plot in CABRIOLE, the second book in the series. I have to admit that what they did has made the story more unusual and interesting. Writing it any other way, as one publisher tried to get me to do, proved utterly impossible.”

Back to the Ballet Novel in 2022

I am now editing TENDU, having pulled it from the proverbial drawer where it’s been for the last three years.

I’m absolutely LOVING it. I’d forgotten quite how much FUN this book is. It also feels as if I’m connecting to a different version of myself. Me before illness took hold. Me before doctors and medication and pain. It’s doing something to me, current day me. Something good. The book is funny and witty and SO, SO naughty. I am slightly concerned that no one will be able to look me in the face again after reading it. But, hey-ho, life’s too short to worry about things like that, and I intend releasing this novel and the rest of the series in the near future.

It’s had a tumultuous publishing journey, though. And I’m sharing that today.

pointe shoes, a ballet novel, TENDU, by Ailish Sinclair
Lovely Porselli Pointe Shoes

Publishers

I sent TENDU out into the world of publishers and quite a large one offered on it quickly. However, they wanted me to change something fundamental about the plot of the series (three titles) as a whole. And I couldn’t. Or, more correctly, I wouldn’t. I am always willing to make changes that will improve a book, but this was just to make it fit the guidelines of a particular romance line. It would have become formulaic. So, much to that publisher’s astonishment, I turned them down.

Note: You can find out what that notorious plot point was in CABRIOLE, out now.

Time went by.

MERMAID got accepted by a British publisher (not to be confused with the ones I’m writing about here. GWL are very organised), and then along came an offer from a small American press for TENDU. It came with amazingly generous royalties, and no big requested changes, and I accepted it.

And more time went by.

After 18 months (the time, according to the contract, by which the book should have been published) I emailed the publisher and asked when things might get going. There was no reply.

Writers Group

Into the writers group I went. This was an amazing resource. All the writers from that publisher, chatting together and, as it turned out, sharing the same tales of woe. Through the group I learned that the woman who owned the publishing house had become too ill to continue working, and she had sold the company. I had huge empathy for that. The new owner had a large backlog of books waiting to be published, and it was all taking a very long time. The slowness of publication didn’t really bother me. I was rather busy being ill, after all.

But then the stories began to change. Already published writers were not receiving royalties or statements. Cheques were bouncing. So, three years after signing the contract, I asked for my rights back. And I got them. Very politely. Very apologetically. So there are no hard feelings, and I’m not going to name the publisher. They are still going though…

ballet novel, TENDU, by Ailish Sinclair

And that’s where I am.

SISTERS is back with the editor. I’m working on a press release for it and delving deeply into TENDU. I’m loving being in the castle again, yes the same one from the other books. It’s a dance school in the modern day. I love the characters. I love the stone circle and the dancing and the chocolate and the London bits and the romance. And I love the story of this ballet novel, dark as it sometimes is.

And it all feels good.

A Dancer's Journey series by Ailish Sinclair

A Dancer’s Journey

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Series on Goodreads

Page with blurbs and quotes

Diabolical reading

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Ailish Sinclair stares out to sea

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Brightness in the Gloaming

bright yellow leaves in the gloaming.

The gloaming. Twilight. The sun is currently setting early here in Scotland. People are saying: “Aye, the nights are fairly drawing in…”

There’s been no frost yet, so brightness still exists within the gloom, or the gloaming.

autumn leaves in the gloaming

How it feels when I stagger out into the forest after several hours of writing in front of a screen:

But, for now, this morning, I’m off back into the manuscript of the moment. I’m working on the first title in the next book series, Castle Dancers. It begins ten years after TENDU – each book has a different main character – and the story starts like this:

Fun times!

TENDU: Dancing in the Castle

TENDU: Dancing in the Castle by Ailish Sinclair

Dance, danger and desire collide in TENDU, a seductive tale set in the mystical landscape of Scotland. Will love conquer all?

See the series page here on the site for full blurbs and quotes

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

“You will cry, you will laugh, at one point you may even clutch your pearls…” Goodreads review

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ballet shoes on a standing stone

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Autumn Leaves and a Lack of Words

autumn leaves
River Ugie and autumn leaves

I took a quiet walk through autumn leaves at Aden Park.

autumns leaves on the path

Peering through an old tree:

autumn leaves through a split trunk

Up by the Mansion House:

autumn leaves

Blue and green should most definitely be seen…

blue sky and green grass through the old Mansion House at Aden Park

Some of the newer plantings have not survived:

a yellow tree

But many have:

big tree, little tree
red and orange autumn leaves

I love the Maples.

Autumn leaves: Maple
red maple autumn leaves

I feel like I don’t have many words left in me. They’ve been used up. They’re coming very soon in book form.

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Ailish Sinclair goes into the woods

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A Spooky and Serendipitous Week

spooky ballet picture and pumpkins

It always feels a little spooky at this time of year. The shops are full of monsters and items that have been ‘Halloweenified.’ The clocks go back an hour here in the UK, making the nights instantly much darker. I feel a little monstrous again, but I’m boring myself with that, so I won’t detail it here.

An Alternative Halloween Article

spooky article on witch burnings

Should we really have fun at Halloween when the north-east led the great execution of witches?

Excellent piece from @NeilDrysdale. I cite the case of Bessie Thom in the article, a woman who features in THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, as an example of what happened to one of the more than 3,000 victims of the witch trials.

“Bessie, quite possibly, went into the North Sea before being committed to the flames during a very public execution.”

Less Spooky, More Serendipitous

ballet dancers: spooky

The Wee Writing Lassie asked me this question on her blog last week (about TENDU): Amalphia’s story takes place in the beautiful and cutthroat world of professional ballet – what inspired the decision to set her story in that particular backdrop?

My answer: When I was first considering writing a contemporary romance, I was unsure exactly where to place it. Inspiration struck while I was lying in the bath contemplating the issue. I saw a line of dancers in my mind. They were at the barre performing ronde de jambe, a circular leg exercise, and I knew the ballet world would be the setting for the story. My own dance training and career provided many of the details, and everything grew from there.

The serendipity: the picture above is almost identical to the image that appeared in my mind thirteen years ago. It arrived in my house, totally unexpectedly, in beautiful wall-mounted form, the day before TENDU released. Some lovely people, who I don’t even know that well, thought I might like it. I can see it from my desk now. And it’s a wonderful reminder that, even though bad or spooky things happen in this world, magic happens too.

The Books of this Post

The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair

Set in a fictional castle in Aberdeenshire, Ailish Sinclair’s debut novel, THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, blends an often overlooked period of history, the Scottish witchcraft accusations, in particular the 1597 Aberdeen witchcraft panic, with a love story.

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

Scotland’s all misty lochs and magical forests and perfect boyfriends, right?

When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

Dark, witty, sexy and fun, Tendu is a compelling and seductive story of love, dance and obsession.

“I fell in love with the book from the first page, and the love affair continued to the end.” Review from Lena on Goodreads.

Amazon UK

Amazon worldwide

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Ailish Sinclair goes into the woods

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A Misty Monday Morning

Misty Monday: bell heather

Marching through the woods. Past the bell heather. Down the hill and through the trees.

Misty Monday: pine trees

New Reviews for Castle Dancers

I did nothing to get reviews for this series, putting out no ARCS at all. I was protecting my health this time, as I’d previously found the whole ARC thing quite stressful. Organic reviews from lovely readers are trickling in now, though.

On X:

castle dancers review

On Amazon.com/Goodreads:

review on Amazon

About the Series:

Meet Ariel and her classmates, Bubbles and Alexander, along with a whole cast of vibrant characters, as they experience love, life and adventure at the most prestigious dance school in Scotland.

Each book in this coming-of-age series delves into the personal struggles and heartfelt romances of a different student over the course of a school year. As the spotlight shifts its focus within the old walls of the castle, there are television shows to be made and dark truths to be faced.

Join these young dancers as they whirl through their challenges, forge unbreakable bonds, and discover the power within themselves. Are you ready to travel to Northern Scotland, step into the castle school and dance through the deep dark of the dungeon?

Castle Dancers Series on Amazon UK

Castle Dancers Series on Amazon Worldwide

castle dancers series by ailish sinclair

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The Performance: sometimes going home for Christmas is just one huge performance…

When Ariel returns home from dance college, her mother expects her to perform the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy in a pink, sequined tutu in front of many, many party guests. Ariel adjusts the costume and choreography to expose dark truths about her life, but, as it turns out, this is not the biggest performance of the night… 

The Performance, a short story by Ailish Sinclair. Get it free for newsletter sign-up.

New Books and Special Offers

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Ailish Sinclair romps in the loch

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Isobel Gowdie: I Shall Go into a Hare

Isobel Gowdie mural in Auldrean

I shall go into a hare,
With sorrow and sych and meickle care;
And I shall go in the Devil’s name,
Ay while I come home again.

The quote is part of the extraordinary witchcraft confessions of Isobel Gowdie from 1662. She confessed to shape-shifting, flying, and various activities involving the devil, and it’s said that she offered this information without torture.

There’s no record of torture, just as there’s no record of Isobel’s execution, but, of course, this doesn’t mean these events didn’t happen.

Mural of Isobel Gowdie

It was wonderful to meet artist Helen Wright when my research took me to Auldearn. She has created a beautiful mural depicting the life of Isobel. In the panel above, it is theorised that Isobel may have earned money telling stories to children, an occupation that was available to local women at the time. The tone and narrative of the confessions do suggest she was a gifted storyteller.

The Battle of Auldearn

Isobell Gowdie mural in Auldrean, this panel depicting the battle of Auldrean

The battle of Auldearn between the Covenanters and Royalists took place in 1645. There were still troops at Auldearn in 1647, the year when Isobel claimed she had carnal relations with the devil. This part of the confession is lurid and detailed, and, to me, it seems to be some sort of trauma response.

I took a video of the whole mural:

@ailishsinclair

It was great to meet the artist today. From Isobel’s confession (apparently obtained without the usual t0rt*re): I shall go into a hare, With sorrow and sych and meickle care; And I shall go in the D€vil’s name, Ay while I come home again. #history #art #mural #witchcraft #womensart #authorlife #research

♬ WITCH WITCH WITCHHESS – ARTHUR LEAL

Auldearn Kirk

Auldrean Kirk - Isobel Gowdie

You’d think the old kirk where Isobel set some of the meetings with the devil and others would feel creepy and dark. It was atmospheric, yes, but it seemed welcoming somehow. I wanted to stay inside it as if someone had ushered me in and offered me tea.

Interior of the kirk:

Interier of old Auldrean Kirk - Isobel Gowdie

So that’s where my writing research has led me… and there’s LOTS of reading to do.

Inside Auldearn Kirk, Highlands, Scotland

My debut novel involved such research too, and another Isobell…

The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair

Set in a fictional castle in Aberdeenshire, Ailish Sinclair’s debut novel, THE MERMAID AND THE BEAR, blends an often overlooked period of history, the Scottish witchcraft accusations, in particular the 1597 Aberdeen witchcraft panic, with a love story.

Published by GWL Publishing, the book is out in paperback and Kindle now.

See the Press Release here

Amazon UK

Amazon Worldwide

The Mermaid and the Bear by Ailish Sinclair

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The Performance: sometimes going home for Christmas is just one huge performance…

When Ariel returns home from dance college, her mother expects her to perform the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy in a pink, sequined tutu in front of many, many party guests. Ariel adjusts the costume and choreography to expose dark truths about her life, but, as it turns out, this is not the biggest performance of the night… 

The Performance, a short story by Ailish Sinclair. Get it free for newsletter sign-up.

New Books and Special Offers

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Ailish Sinclair romps in the loch

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Working Girl: a WordPress Prompt Goes Dark

wordpress prompt

What jobs have you had?

A WordPress Prompt

Well, WordPress prompt, when I was fifteen, I took over my ballet teacher’s school for a few months before going to college.

Despite being far too young for such a responsibility, I loved it, and it paid for all the dancewear and equipment I needed for my studies.

ballet teacher: wordpress prompt

In my second year of dance school, I got a job in a shop in Covent Garden. It was a very nice shop. I had more money. No more choosing between food and decent pointe shoes.

shop assistant: wordpress prompt

But here is where things go a bit darker than the WordPress prompt probably intended. I knew really, that working both Saturday and Sunday, after a hard week of dance training, was a bit foolhardy. My sensible friend, Suzette, who would have counselled against this, had returned to Mauritius. More about Suzette and dance training here

So, I became exhausted. There was dance injury after dance injury. I developed a chest infection that lasted five months.

The shop sacked me for being ill. This left me even more vulnerable than I had already been, at seventeen, alone in London.

There was a violent predator.

There was an incident from which I was lucky to escape with my life.

Fast forward to the present, skipping several other jobs…

writer: wordpress prompt

And my writing is influenced by my past. This is most evident in my contemporary work. There is a dark event in TENDU, the first book of A Dancer’s Journey, that I knew how to write because of my own experience. Not that it’s exactly the same, of course. In fact, it’s quite different. Fiction has to be more dramatic than reality, and more interesting. Far more interesting…

And have an infinitely more exciting setting…

These books have dark moments, but they are actually quite fun, overall, I think. And naughty. Like life, if you’re lucky!

Update: the whole series is out now!

He's a 10... TENDU by Ailish Sinclair
See slides on TikTok

Series on Amazon UK

Series on Amazon worldwide

Page with blurbs and quotes

Dance and Despair: Writing What You Know on Women Writers, Women[‘s] Books.

A Dancer's Journey Series by Ailish Sinclair

More on the series

Newsletter and Free Story

You will receive a free short story when you sign up for my occasional, more-intimate-than-the-blog newsletter (the story can be read in a browser too).

The Performance: sometimes going home for Christmas is just one huge performance…

When Ariel returns home from dance college, her mother expects her to perform the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy in a pink, sequined tutu in front of many, many party guests. Ariel adjusts the costume and choreography to expose dark truths about her life, but, as it turns out, this is not the biggest performance of the night… 

The Performance, a short story by Ailish Sinclair. Get it free for newsletter sign-up.

New Books and Special Offers

If you would like to hear about new books and special offers, you can follow my Amazon author page.

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feet

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Strichen Lake in Aberdeenshire

Strichen Lake

Today we have beautiful Strichen lake for my wee road to winter journey or blog series as it has become. And yes, it is called a lake, not a loch, which is a little unusual for up here.

Reflections in Strichen Lake

Reflections on the lake.

Swans on Strichen Lake

The swans make it a little balletic. For me, anyway.

The Strichen Community Park Facebook Page always has lots of seasonal photos and news about the park and lake.

Tendu is out, and Cabriole is almost here (November 24th)!

The first two titles of A Dancer's Journey

And the third title, Fouetté, releases in December. Phew! These aren’t just the naughtiest books I’ve ever written, they’re the longest, being about 50% longer than my historical titles.

I’m trying to keep up with the reviews that keep popping up in unexpected places. Mick_the_knife had this to say on Threads: “My Kindle is fully charged and waiting to welcome Cabriole with open arms. Tendu was a romp and a roller coaster and it possibly contributed to my sleep deprivation for a couple of weeks!”

A Dancer's Journey by Ailish Sinclair

They’re in paperback too. Nice big chunks of books.

Series page here on the site

On Amazon

Series on Goodreads

TENDU: When dance student Amalphia Treadwell embarks on a secret relationship with her charismatic new teacher, she has no idea of the danger that lurks in his school in Scotland…

And then on into CABRIOLE: After a traumatic year at the castle, Amalphia Treadwell travels back to London to start her professional life, putting dark and difficult things firmly behind her. Or so she believes…

Cabriole by Ailish Sincalir
Cabriole: Dancing in the City

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And that’s a tendu…

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